Twas the Last Night in the White House
Four weeks post election, and in the White house
Every aide was on the job hunt except for one louse
The evidence he was shredding and deleting with care
For fear that President Biden would soon be there
The Trump children all sleeping upside down did dream
As head trump grows weaker, comes a new trump supreme!
As trumps stubby digits tweeted fraud and,he would never concede!
Even fox news said he lost, 2nd place, he was a loser indeed.
Trump looked out his window after hearing such a clatter
It was protesters with signs saying “EVERY VOTE MATTERS”
Then the red phone rang! Trump rejoiced, it was Rudy!
He said for 20 grand a day upfront and i’ll do your Duty!
I’ll make sure you’ll win, I’ll think of plenty of reasons
Just wait and they’ll see when I speak at Four Seasons!
But none of the courts would hear out poor rudy,
No court in the land, not even Judge Judy
He called his legal team “Meet here in a cinch”
In walked Satan, Heat Miser and even the Grinch
They said “there’s nothing to be done go ahead and resign”
Live like a king with your stocks of hydroxychloroquine
Trump said, fine i’ll leave, but this election was stolen!
The math was all wrong and the margins were swollen
He blamed dems, liberals, and the Iowa Caucus
Black women, gays and most of all the Post Office
Before he decided it was time to get scootin’
He made one last call to his best friend Putin
He said he couldn’t talk as trump was no longer in power
He’ll release the pee video, their friendship was sour
He could hear it coming, it was the sound of transition
It was happening with or without him or his permission.
Trump became scared of what was to come
As he thought of his friends and the fate they succumb
Upon leaving the office he faces certain legal ramifications
And he had no more money from illegal foundations
He rose up from his chair slowly not at all like a flash
He would pardon them all! be damned the backlash!
He called a press conference on the lawn to report
“Pardon, Gates, Pardon Flynn, Pardon Paul Manafort!
Pardon Ivanka, Pardon Papadopoulos, Pardon David Perdue
Pardon Milania, Pardon Tucker from those trying to sue!
Finally pale faced he yelled with a shortness of breath
“Pardon ME DONALD TRUMP, Pardon me until Death!”
Pardon me from tax fraud, charity scams, and university illusions
Pardon me from the high treason I did with that collusion!
As trump boarded his helicopter flew away out of sight
You could hear RBG say “Thank god that turned out right”